My waxy weakness

Ever have that one food that you just can't seem to ever live life without? (You know I'm NOT EVEN exaggerating) 

Your first "go to" when you're having a bad/crappy day? 

The item you spot in the grocery store - and you have to get it off the shelf?

The food you know is HORRID (like fuh reallll) but you still gotta eat it? 

I do.. 

It's these damn frosted donuts! 

Everywhere! 

I see them at the end of every store checkout line and sometimes even on random end caps. 

Every time I walk by those yellow cake doughnuts, frosted in chocolate (ok ok, we all know its brown wax!!) they scream my name and say "PAULA! PICK US! WE'RE DELICIOUS!!" 

....and I listened to them. Way more than I should. 

Lots of times I could sit and literally eat almost a whole bag.

Other times I could eat an entire bag and then purge so I would feel less crappy after. 

Sometimes I would be on a quick run to the store and would grab the individual size and eat them ....all (6)... on the way home from the grocery store.... BEFORE eating dinner! 

I ate them on days I felt sad/mad/fat or bloated from being a girl. Or if i just wanted something sweet. 

BAD CHOICES!!!

Every last one of them. 

Today, I passed TWO different brands of them today - and walked right by them. I even had to turn around the first time to take a photo! 

I know,

It might not seen like that big of a deal to you, but you may understand more if it was YOUR weakness food. Maybe it's Reese's. Or Mac and cheese. Or baked bread - who knows. It could be anything. 

Sometimes I do let my desires/cravings get the best of me...

But today, I didn't. 

And I'm proud of myself for that. 

Two days down of my new lifestyle.... And I've got the rest of my life to go! 

Hey guys - i'm not dead!

I know. I kindof  absolutely stopped my love affair with the blogging scene for a long time. 
OK -  a REALLY long time........... OVER A YEAR! 

Why...? 
I don't really know.

Wondering whats been going on over the last year? 
Let me tell you... 

1) I bought a house - I'll share more about this later =)

2) I gained back *insert evil music here* 38-ish pounds that I had lost when taking phentermine during 2013 (womp womp)

....yep. That's pretty much it. 
2014 was NOT as awesome as I had hoped.
So... don't worry --- you really didn't miss much.

Oh well, right?
It's over. Done. Can't go back now - so I need to move forward. And that is just what I'm gonna do -

So, I've been missing attending bootcamp lately and have been feeling crappy about myself and my weight/body. So, first thing, I booked an appointment with my local PCP so that I can get my annual checkup - getting my blood drawn and testing for things like cholesterol, thyroid, metabolism, and overall health.

The appointment went great. We talked about this weird leg thing I have going on (which I am terrified (*rolls eyes* -  thanks google) that its a blood clot - so I'm heading in for an ultrasound next week. 
I also talked to the doctor about how I lost all the weight on phen, but then gained it back because I didn't make a lifestyle change. I told him how I was lacking motivation but know that I need to lead a healthier life. I told him that I feel like even when I was going to bootcamp and eating better, it felt like I was never losing any weight, despite shedding an average of 650 calories every 35-minute workout.

He started off the conversation with asking about my family - "are all the women in your family overweight?" My response - "yes. I'm one of the smaller or smallest women in my family." He explained it this way - You have green eyes because of your genetics. You are 5'7" tall because of your genetics. You have brown hair because of your genetics. you're also pre-disposed to be heavier because of your genetics." Then he went one to explain something to me - something that CLICKED that I had never heard before:

Yes, you are prone to being overweight because of your genetics - but those genetics DO NOT make you overweight. Those genes make up who you are - and those genes are resistant to change. Your choices about food, exercise, and lifestyle make you overweight - but those genes just make it harder for you to LOSE weight, than say, someone with more of a "skinny" gene.
Makes perfect sense. My genes don't MAKE me or KEEP me overweight, they just make it more difficult for me to lose weight when I try. Its like my body wants to be where it feels most comfortable -- so it will take more of a fight for me to lose weight or to reach my goals.

Then, he said "I can help with that" and grabbed a little script book - and thought about prescribing some blended-medication that's just been approved for weight loss. I was into it - he even gave me some coupons and brochures - and I was excited. Then he looked me up and told me that because I've lost 4 pounds, that I do not qualify anymore for the medication. He laughed a little and said "well, I want to help you lose weight - but I cannot tell you to gain 5 pounds so that you qualify for this assistance, so lets just get your blood work done and we can figure out the best plan for you."

I went and got my blood drawn (ugh, i hate that so very badly - but I believe that my health is more important than a stupid needle, so I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS have regular feminine health, dental cleanings/checkups, and regular physicals to make sure I am as healthy as can be). 
I got my blood results a couple hours later. Everything looked fantastic - everything was within normal limits, although, I did feel a little bummed to find out that my metabolism and thyroid were actually working. ha! 
Then I got my cholesterol results. Apparently, for my body, I am about 10 points OVER on my LDL (bad cholesterol) from being normal -- so I really need to get that down.

My doctor called me back with the results, and told me that I do qualify for this 30mg medication - and that he would write me a prescription for it. $34 later, we will see how this goes! 

Now, that cholesterol information got me a little terrified. My great grandma Ann had heart problems and passed away from them. Her son, my grandpa Nick, died on Monday from heart complications and he had them for the last 15 years. My mom has high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

I DON'T WANT TO DIE EARLY. 

I DON'T WANT TO HAVE OPEN-HEART SURGERY.

I DON'T WANT TO HAVE BLOOD CLOTS.

I DON'T WANT TO BE UNHEALTHY. 

My family history basically says that I'm more prone to get cancer, have some type of heart problems, and even develop diabetes. (Uhmmm.. scary much?!)

Now, cancer I can't really prevent. I just have to pray like hell that I make the right choices and that I never get it - and that if I do that It can be caught early and/or cured. 

But heart problems? Clogged arteries? Diabetes? --- totally preventable with a healthy diet and exercise. 

Time to get on with it! 

A couple girlfriends and I have purchased a 6 week groupon to a local bootcamp (the one I used to attend - where I burn an average of 650 calories in 40 minutes) and we will start that Monday afternoon. I have also been taking our two poodles (Doctor and Roxeanne) on evening walks in our neighborhood. That should be a good start. 
I also plan to stop eating high-cholesterol foods (regular bacon, egg yolks, milk, dairy) and start making healthier food choices --  like more real fruits, veggies, whole grains, and less processed foods! 

I can do this!

As before, I will be posting my before/after photos, weigh-ins, food information, as well as my experiences along the way. 

Thanks for catching up with me!