We all started somewhere..

Its 2014!!

 (wait.......already?!)

Promises of healthier lifestyles, more time spent at the gym, and weight loss crowd social media sites.
Was that one of your goals, resolutions, or promises to yourself or your family this year?

It is mine!

This is the first year of my life that I have, as a resolution to myself and those in my life, promised to take real charge and make some real changes for my health and my body -- and I know I'm actually going to do something about it!

I started my most recent weight loss journey mid-January of 2013 for two main reasons:
  1) I wanted to look better and fell better about myself - FOR ME
  2) I wanted to look sexy/desirable; Be the girl with brains, personality, AND a body!

I know what you're thinking right now-- WHY IN THE HECK WOULD YOU DIET FOR A BOY?! Well, I guess we could probably argue about that all day... but in the end... its honestly what I wanted... and knowing that I would be sexier and healthier and all around "the package" for him (and myself too!!) -- then well, it was excellent motivation to do what I had already wanted but, honestly, was too afraid to get off of my butt and do something to change it.

I started taking Phentermine, a diet-suppressant energy pill (approved by the FDA) and loved it. It curbed my appetite and therefore, I ate less. Less doesn't always mean better. Sure, for the first couple weeks or even months I ate right. Mostly clean eating, but It was in such small portions that it didn't really matter. Phentermine took away my appetite. On an average day I would wake up, not eat breakfast (BAD!), skip lunch (BAD!), fiber bar (140 calories), and a light dinner (200-400 calories - BAD!). For my body, I need around 1,000 - 1,200 calories per day to "diet" and still have energy and ability to workout and build muscle. I also rarely ever drank anything -- including water (MISTAKE!)

I also went to the gym 3-4 days a week. When I went to the gym I would do about 30-60 minutes of cardio which was mainly walking and/or lightly jogging. Occasionally I would use the elliptical there too, since I felt to notice I burned more calories on that machine. I never challenged myself. I never really "stuck it out" for those fat-burning workouts. All I wanted to do was burn calories and burn them fast. (Burn more calories than you take in = basic weight loss.) I never lifted weights. I never knew how, and I always made excuses not to learn *insert lame excuse here like: trainers are expensive or that I have no time*

Sure, I was losing weight and some inches too! I felt better about myself  -- I mean, who wouldn't feel good about themselves being a size 8 and weighing 145, when I had reached a height of size 18 and a weight of 210 in my past! (and yes.. that is without having babies --- pure fat and being unhealthy from snacking, eating unhealthy foods in rather large amounts and frequently, and lacking basically all exercise...)

However, I realize now that I was losing inches and pounds, but I wasn't getting stronger.
I was only getting skinnier.
I couldn't run any miles.
I couldn't lift any real weights.
I would get exhausted so easily.
I wasn't getting skinny ---- I was getting SKINNY FAT.

 

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What is SKINNY FAT?

A person who is not overweight and looks skinny but still has a high fat percentage and low muscular mass. Usually those people have a low caloric diet (check!), that's why they are skinny, but are not involved in any sports activities or trainings (check again!) and that's why they don’t have much muscle.

Skinny fat woman look great from a certain distance or in clothes, but might not look good naked (check again....) and probably have some cellulite even if they are young.

(Oooookay now seriously. Is this a definition of "skinny fat" or of me?!?!)

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I don't want to be fat, and I definitely don't want to be "skinny fat" anymore. I don't really even care about being technically "skinny" anymore. I want to be genuinely and honestly more healthy and more fit. I want to be stronger. I want to put good things into my body and I want to work hard to change it. I want to see a difference in my definition, not the number on the scale.

 

This year, I am promising myself a real change.

 

I'm promising to actually eat, and to eat healthy. I can do this!
 

I'm promising myself that I can do this without the help of weight loss medication.
 

I'm promising myself to change my body with exercise.
 

I'm promising myself to do this for no one else other than myself.
 

I CAN DO THIS!
 

I've already started eating right. Today I've had some protein for breakfast and I plan on protein and vegetables for lunch. Dinner... who knows.... probably salmon and some baked veggies! Not to mention the 75oz of water that I've already had today -- and its only 3:30pm!

 

I also started BOOTCAMP. It's a ladies only fitness center where you have small-group classes and work to reduce fat, build muscle, build endurance, and have a wonderful place to workout with women who are working towards transforming their bodies too -- the right way! Talk about some real motivation and some serious soreness! EEK! My second "official" class is tonight.
I'm sore. I'm tired. I kiiindof want to skip it -- BUT I WONT!!

 

Anyways... all that to say... this New Year...

 

Stop complaining about how "overcrowded" the gym is.

 

Stop rolling your eyes when people tell you that their resolution/goal/promise for 2014 is to get healthy or lose weight.

 

Stop making fun of the "fat girl/guy" in class -- and realize:

 

 

WE ALL STARTED SOMEWHERE!   

 

I'm BIG BONED!!!

Big Boned.

Thats what people (parents, friends, family, neighbors...everyone!) tell larger people when they complain about their weight or talk about getting skinny. It's all a way to make larger people feel better about themselves, their weight, and their body frame (in my experience, at least!) Thats what I was told my whole life.

I can't tell you how many times growing up that I heard "you're not fat.. if anything, you're chubby... you're a growing girl ...and you're big boned! You will never look good at a size 4 or size 6 or a size 8. You're just meant to be bigger. Maybe a 10 ... yes, you would be perfect at a size 10...." and then the conversation would trail off into something else... and I would be left wondering if I ever could be a size 4, 6, 8, or heck -- even if I would ever make it to a size 10!

I’ve been trying, off and on, for years to eat better and to take care of myself. Yo-Yo dieting has become quite the hobby over the past 8 or so years. I've always seen people that are so tall and super thin - thin being just the opposite of me. I was always jealous of their amazing metabolism and general lack of fat, not to mention the fact that they could basically eat whatever they wanted to and not have to worry about gaining weight. I, on the other hand, seemed to always gain 10 pounds after sniffing a cookie. Ha!

Was it my metabolism after all? Or what about my thyroid?! Of course! That had to be it! Issues with those two things could be the answer to why I was fat!

Turns out, my metabolism was probably quite normal, considering my activity level and weight. I even had my thyroid checked, making sure that it wasnt m body sabotoging itself and making me fat (funny, right?!) ....but guess what -- that came out normal too! In fact, I am pretty sure, at this point, I just felt like it was impossible for me to be thin, skinny, a size 10 or 8 or 6 or 4, or even healthy. 

.............................Well, there goes that excuse!

Just about every female in my family, extended too – is overweight, if not "obese". However, looking at old photos – they did not start out that way. In fact almost all of my relatives were slender and active in their younger days. All very skinng, active, and gosh, very beautiful -- so it’s not in my DNA either. Great.

.......................Excuse number two down the drain!

When I was a kid, after about 4th grade, I was never really ever skinny. I’m built like a mountain side, broad and curvy… (You like that one?) I’ve always had a very pronounced pear shape (smaller on top, larger on bottom), even when I was at my heaviest (210 - OUCH) and that led me to think that it was okay for me to be that big, because I just didn’t look THAT big. (haha, there I go again with the jokes!) People where floored when they would find out how much I weighed, I just happen to carry it better then someone else...right?

So then I told myself, well, I am just big boned.

Well, Ive been to the doctor a few times lately, and what I am beginning to realise is that NO, I am not big boned.  Not big --- just average. (For reference, I’m 5'7" tall with a wrist measurement of 6.5 inches.)

................................Adios excuse numero tres!!!

So if it’s not my thyroid or my DNA, nor I’m not big boned – what’s wrong with me? Why was I so big?

...........................Are you ready for the shocking answer?

I ate too much and I moved too little

Yep!!

..........Absolutely unbelievable, I know!

Who would have guessed that the secret to my success in weight loss would be logging my calories, moving my large behind, and taking phentermine to curb my appetite and habits of eating... a lot.... all the time??
Anyone with half a brain. No seriously.

So... this whole "big boned" business is all a lie? Well, it looks like it! I love this photo that really illustrate that your "big-ness" really isnt bones... its some muscle and a lot of fat (in my case) piled on top of those regular-size bones!

 

Lets get this straight, I am not "skinny" just yet -- and by no means do I have a "bangin' body"  either.... but HECK! THIS IS WHAT I CALL PROGRESS LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!

143.2 today and finally in a size 6!

Just bought two new pairs of jeans, one new pair of slacks, and a pair of slim-fit shorts from Gap =)

...........If I hit the 130s I believe I will cry!

So much for living up to everyones expectations of continuing to be "big boned" and never fitting into a size 10 (CHECK) or a size 8 (CHECK) or a size 6 (CHECK!!). I am so excited -- and I never thought this would happen. Well, it didnt just "happen," technically. I made it happen and I am so glad that I have!

I challenge you not to listen to other people. Do what you want and do what you can to make yourself happy.

Like the cheerios bee says "bee happy, bee healthy!" and dont listen to anyone who says that you are "big boned" and if you do listen, don't feel like you have to live up to that -- because, chances are, you have normal sized bones and you can be/look like whatever you want.... and let me stress that what you are/want to be/look like is ENTIRELY up to you.

 

Happy Monday!