Thursday, February 18, 2016

THIS TIME...

If you've read here before or even if you haven't, I'll give you a quick recap about me.....
I'm A 27-year-old Oklahoma girl that has been battling with her weight basically since she was like 10 years old. 

I gained weight through my preteen and teen years… I got up to my highest weight, 210 pounds, my junior year in high school. I decided to change it… So I ate salad basically every single day and made sure to walk for an hour every single day after school while on the phone with my friend.  

In 2006, when I got to college, I weighed about 180 pounds.  I got busy with normal college stuff… Drinking my calories instead of eating them… Walking all over campus.. And being busy in general. I got down to about 165 pounds without even trying or realizing. 

I basically yo-yo'd all the way through college. Up to 195, down to 170, up to 185, down to 168, back up to 180, etc. etc. 

After college, in 2013 I sought the help of a doctor because I was desperate to lose weight.  They put me on an appetite suppressant - phentermine. I didn't do much research and I didn't really have much direction but since I got them from a doctor I thought nothing of it. They gave me a TON energy, they helped me eat less, and I began lose weight till I hit my lowest weight of 143lbs (most days I was 145-147). 

Life was good..... Until it wasn't. I wasn't exercising exercising and I was seriously under eating (maybe 500 calories a day for 3-4 months straight) which isn't a healthy combo. 
I didn't think I needed the pills anymore (especially after they made me tweak out hardcore) so I stopped taking them & I managed my weight for a little while and then slowly it just creeped up to where I am now.......Here.
Last fall I was back up to 194 according to my doctors office, and by the first of the year I was down to about 187. I basically gained back the 40lbs that I lost. 

I gained it all back because I 
- stopped eating healthy whole foods
- started eating big, carefree portions 
- started eating out 
- stopped tracking my food 
- started snacking on junk whenever 
- stopped going to the gym 

Gaining and losing weight is a terrible cycle to feel stuck in. 
It's true, I'm overweight. I'm un-healthy. I'm tired of it. Tired of feeling like I live on a never ending loop. I've probably lost & gained The same 45 or 50 pounds every single year for the last 10 years. 
I'm like this giant hamster on this freaking spinning wheel that just doesn't stop, except for breaks of waxy doughnuts, pizza lunchables, & self pity. 

I wanna scream I JUST WANT TO BE FIT ALREADY!!!! That's just not logical though. It's not an overnight thing, it's the rest of my life thing. And if this is going to be for the rest of my life, then I need to get it under control now, before I can't anymore.

So I'm fat again working on getting fit again.....and I hope you will follow me along as I try to get myself to a place where I'm happy, inside & out! I want to get to that girl that Ive always wanted to be..... The girl that loves being active & eating healthy. I want to feel/look awesome & powerful & motivated. That will be me. πŸ’ͺπŸΌπŸ‘ŠπŸΌ

And to all you out there that have read & followed along on my roller coaster of a journey, I appreciate all the motivation you give me everyday even after me being gone for so long. It's hard to put yourself out there for all to see and you make it easy to do so, so Thanks for that!

1 comment:

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