SPARK

Let's talk energy. 
Normally.. Every day between two and 3 o'clock I start crashing. 

It doesn't matter if I had coffee earlier that morning, if I've had a light day of work and shouldn't feel tired, or if I even skipped out on carbohydrates for lunch..  I always feel sleepy and sluggish and tired in the afternoon.  I start yawning like crazy… And I start losing focus on my work or whatever I'm doing.  Do you know the feeling?  I feel like I always become somewhat useless in the mid afternoon.

In the past couple years, I've tried what everyone has tried.  I've tried Redbull, I've taken many a five hour energy shot, i've made sure to take extra vitamins,  i've even tried some other products like plexus sticks, herbalife tea concentrate, and Arbonne fizz sticks - nothing really worked. The ones that did give me a boost of caffeine made my body freak out when it wore off, and then I feel even worse off than when I decided to drink it in the first place - not good.
On average… I can probably drink nearly a pot of coffee before I really start feeling any effects. I guess my body just isn't as sensitive as normal people's to caffeine.

So last month, when I was doing a Dietbet, a lot of people said that they loved Advocare SPARK.  A couple of people offered to give me samples and woman even sent me a box in a flavor that she did not like.   I got samples of the different flavors and decided to give them a try.  I had watermelon, grape, mandarin orange, green apple, and mango strawberry.

It's pretty simple. They come in a little stick package (they also come in a canister), and you mix it with water and drink it.   Some of the flavors I'll probably never try again because they just weren't my thing, but some of the flavors were incredible.   I literally want to drink three or four in a row because they are so delicious.

My favorite flavors are the mandarin orange  (I really love orange and citrus drinks) and the fruit punch (yummmm!)  I actually just made some fruit punch spark about half an hour ago. SO GOOD.

For me, the strange thing about spark that I don't get with other energy drinks, is the fact that I never really feel the energy come on.  It's not like it hits me like a brick wall and then I come crashing down.

It's just, well, one minute I am yawning and getting sleepy and groggy… I drink my spark... and then all of a sudden I have energy again.  It's not enough to make me feel jittery (like phentermine did), but is just the right amount to kind of wake me up, get my head focused, and get me through the rest of the evening or afternoon.

I love the sample so much I decided to sign up without a care so that I can save 20% off of all of my products.  Don't think I'll ever drink another energy drink again after trying spark. It really is the most incredible product.
Signing up as a distributor or hobbyist is just a $79 fee.  That includes three boxes of spark, which are normally $25 each ---  so it's literally like you're buying three boxes of spark to save 20% (or more)  off of everything else for the rest of your life.

If you want to try some spark, let me know and I'm happy to send you a sample.

ALSO -- If you're interested in signing up as a distributor for the discount or to start selling it, please let me know!  I'm willing to bet that if you try spark once, you'll definitely buy again.

Anyways… That's pretty much all I have to say… I just really enjoy the products and I thought I would share with you.  :)  feel free to let me know if you have any questions!

10 Day Cleanse: Results

Soooo.... I decided that this body of mine could use a cleansing! 

So I'm doing the Advocare 10 Day Cleanse. I've done it before and when I really follow it I get great results. 

I did the cleanse in January and lost a total of 7.4 pounds. The weight loss was great and all, but what made all the difference for me was my before/after photo! 😳😳😳 I definitely feel healthier, and less bloated and fatty. 

BEFORE (left): Jan 6th, 2016

AFTER (right): Feb 4, 2016 

So about this cleanse... 

I prefer this one to others because it's not expensive ($36.95) and includes everything you need to complete the 10 days. The dietary restrictions are rough if your used to eating crap but that's why it works. Basically, you need to stay away from sugar, white carbs, caffeine & dairy. 

I've also enjoyed some of their other supplements like Spark (energy drink? and Catalyst which are amino acids that help maintain your muscle mass & help your body burn fat instead of muscle (I've had issues with losing muscle in the past!) 

Also--- with Advocare, you have the option of becoming a distributor for just $79.99. With that comes a 20% discount on products. That $79 also gets you three boxes of spark! YUM! 

I chose to go ahead and sign up seeing as I love multiple products and can now get them at a discount. It's not for everyone but I thought it made the most sense for me. 

In the past, I've had some friends do the cleanse with me & I would love that this time around as well!

If you think about doing it or trying some of the products, think of signing up as a distributor. And if you do, I'll throw in the cleanse for FREE! So $79.99 will get you the distributor kit with 3 boxes of Spark (energy drink), 20% off all your future products, and the cleanse. (Great value if you want to do the cleanse anyways & try the energy drink)

If you want something more extensive, they have a 24 day challenge kit  that pretty much just starts after the 10 day cleanse ends. I have 3 days left of my cleanse and then 14 days of different vitamins and supplements for the other half of the challenge.

https://www.advocare.com/160230954

I'm very excited and hope to see just as much of a result as I did in January. Stick around - I'll let you know how it goes! 

THIS TIME...

If you've read here before or even if you haven't, I'll give you a quick recap about me.....

I'm A 27-year-old Oklahoma girl that has been battling with her weight basically since she was like 10 years old. 

I gained weight through my preteen and teen years… I got up to my highest weight, 210 pounds, my junior year in high school. I decided to change it… So I ate salad basically every single day and made sure to walk for an hour every single day after school while on the phone with my friend.  

In 2006, when I got to college, I weighed about 180 pounds.  I got busy with normal college stuff… Drinking my calories instead of eating them… Walking all over campus.. And being busy in general. I got down to about 165 pounds without even trying or realizing. 

I basically yo-yo'd all the way through college. Up to 195, down to 170, up to 185, down to 168, back up to 180, etc. etc. 

After college, in 2013 I sought the help of a doctor because I was desperate to lose weight.  They put me on an appetite suppressant - phentermine. I didn't do much research and I didn't really have much direction but since I got them from a doctor I thought nothing of it. They gave me a TON energy, they helped me eat less, and I began lose weight till I hit my lowest weight of 143lbs (most days I was 145-147). 

Life was good..... Until it wasn't. I wasn't exercising exercising and I was seriously under eating (maybe 500 calories a day for 3-4 months straight) which isn't a healthy combo. 

I didn't think I needed the pills anymore (especially after they made me tweak out hardcore) so I stopped taking them & I managed my weight for a little while and then slowly it just creeped up to where I am now.......Here.

Last fall I was back up to 194 according to my doctors office, and by the first of the year I was down to about 187. I basically gained back the 40lbs that I lost. 

I gained it all back because I 

- stopped eating healthy whole foods

- started eating big, carefree portions 

- started eating out 

- stopped tracking my food 

- started snacking on junk whenever 

- stopped going to the gym 

Gaining and losing weight is a terrible cycle to feel stuck in. 

It's true, I'm overweight. I'm un-healthy. I'm tired of it. Tired of feeling like I live on a never ending loop. I've probably lost & gained The same 45 or 50 pounds every single year for the last 10 years. 

I'm like this giant hamster on this freaking spinning wheel that just doesn't stop, except for breaks of waxy doughnuts, pizza lunchables, & self pity. 

I wanna scream I JUST WANT TO BE FIT ALREADY!!!! That's just not logical though. It's not an overnight thing, it's the rest of my life thing. And if this is going to be for the rest of my life, then I need to get it under control now, before I can't anymore.

So I'm fat again working on getting fit again.....and I hope you will follow me along as I try to get myself to a place where I'm happy, inside & out! I want to get to that girl that Ive always wanted to be..... The girl that loves being active & eating healthy. I want to feel/look awesome & powerful & motivated. That will be me. 💪🏼👊🏼

And to all you out there that have read & followed along on my roller coaster of a journey, I appreciate all the motivation you give me everyday even after me being gone for so long. It's hard to put yourself out there for all to see and you make it easy to do so, so Thanks for that!

My waxy weakness

Ever have that one food that you just can't seem to ever live life without? (You know I'm NOT EVEN exaggerating) 

Your first "go to" when you're having a bad/crappy day? 

The item you spot in the grocery store - and you have to get it off the shelf?

The food you know is HORRID (like fuh reallll) but you still gotta eat it? 

I do.. 

It's these damn frosted donuts! 

Everywhere! 

I see them at the end of every store checkout line and sometimes even on random end caps. 

Every time I walk by those yellow cake doughnuts, frosted in chocolate (ok ok, we all know its brown wax!!) they scream my name and say "PAULA! PICK US! WE'RE DELICIOUS!!" 

....and I listened to them. Way more than I should. 

Lots of times I could sit and literally eat almost a whole bag.

Other times I could eat an entire bag and then purge so I would feel less crappy after. 

Sometimes I would be on a quick run to the store and would grab the individual size and eat them ....all (6)... on the way home from the grocery store.... BEFORE eating dinner! 

I ate them on days I felt sad/mad/fat or bloated from being a girl. Or if i just wanted something sweet. 

BAD CHOICES!!!

Every last one of them. 

Today, I passed TWO different brands of them today - and walked right by them. I even had to turn around the first time to take a photo! 

I know,

It might not seen like that big of a deal to you, but you may understand more if it was YOUR weakness food. Maybe it's Reese's. Or Mac and cheese. Or baked bread - who knows. It could be anything. 

Sometimes I do let my desires/cravings get the best of me...

But today, I didn't. 

And I'm proud of myself for that. 

Two days down of my new lifestyle.... And I've got the rest of my life to go! 

Hey guys - i'm not dead!

I know. I kindof  absolutely stopped my love affair with the blogging scene for a long time. 
OK -  a REALLY long time........... OVER A YEAR! 

Why...? 
I don't really know.

Wondering whats been going on over the last year? 
Let me tell you... 

1) I bought a house - I'll share more about this later =)

2) I gained back *insert evil music here* 38-ish pounds that I had lost when taking phentermine during 2013 (womp womp)

....yep. That's pretty much it. 
2014 was NOT as awesome as I had hoped.
So... don't worry --- you really didn't miss much.

Oh well, right?
It's over. Done. Can't go back now - so I need to move forward. And that is just what I'm gonna do -

So, I've been missing attending bootcamp lately and have been feeling crappy about myself and my weight/body. So, first thing, I booked an appointment with my local PCP so that I can get my annual checkup - getting my blood drawn and testing for things like cholesterol, thyroid, metabolism, and overall health.

The appointment went great. We talked about this weird leg thing I have going on (which I am terrified (*rolls eyes* -  thanks google) that its a blood clot - so I'm heading in for an ultrasound next week. 
I also talked to the doctor about how I lost all the weight on phen, but then gained it back because I didn't make a lifestyle change. I told him how I was lacking motivation but know that I need to lead a healthier life. I told him that I feel like even when I was going to bootcamp and eating better, it felt like I was never losing any weight, despite shedding an average of 650 calories every 35-minute workout.

He started off the conversation with asking about my family - "are all the women in your family overweight?" My response - "yes. I'm one of the smaller or smallest women in my family." He explained it this way - You have green eyes because of your genetics. You are 5'7" tall because of your genetics. You have brown hair because of your genetics. you're also pre-disposed to be heavier because of your genetics." Then he went one to explain something to me - something that CLICKED that I had never heard before:

Yes, you are prone to being overweight because of your genetics - but those genetics DO NOT make you overweight. Those genes make up who you are - and those genes are resistant to change. Your choices about food, exercise, and lifestyle make you overweight - but those genes just make it harder for you to LOSE weight, than say, someone with more of a "skinny" gene.
Makes perfect sense. My genes don't MAKE me or KEEP me overweight, they just make it more difficult for me to lose weight when I try. Its like my body wants to be where it feels most comfortable -- so it will take more of a fight for me to lose weight or to reach my goals.

Then, he said "I can help with that" and grabbed a little script book - and thought about prescribing some blended-medication that's just been approved for weight loss. I was into it - he even gave me some coupons and brochures - and I was excited. Then he looked me up and told me that because I've lost 4 pounds, that I do not qualify anymore for the medication. He laughed a little and said "well, I want to help you lose weight - but I cannot tell you to gain 5 pounds so that you qualify for this assistance, so lets just get your blood work done and we can figure out the best plan for you."

I went and got my blood drawn (ugh, i hate that so very badly - but I believe that my health is more important than a stupid needle, so I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS have regular feminine health, dental cleanings/checkups, and regular physicals to make sure I am as healthy as can be). 
I got my blood results a couple hours later. Everything looked fantastic - everything was within normal limits, although, I did feel a little bummed to find out that my metabolism and thyroid were actually working. ha! 
Then I got my cholesterol results. Apparently, for my body, I am about 10 points OVER on my LDL (bad cholesterol) from being normal -- so I really need to get that down.

My doctor called me back with the results, and told me that I do qualify for this 30mg medication - and that he would write me a prescription for it. $34 later, we will see how this goes! 

Now, that cholesterol information got me a little terrified. My great grandma Ann had heart problems and passed away from them. Her son, my grandpa Nick, died on Monday from heart complications and he had them for the last 15 years. My mom has high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

I DON'T WANT TO DIE EARLY. 

I DON'T WANT TO HAVE OPEN-HEART SURGERY.

I DON'T WANT TO HAVE BLOOD CLOTS.

I DON'T WANT TO BE UNHEALTHY. 

My family history basically says that I'm more prone to get cancer, have some type of heart problems, and even develop diabetes. (Uhmmm.. scary much?!)

Now, cancer I can't really prevent. I just have to pray like hell that I make the right choices and that I never get it - and that if I do that It can be caught early and/or cured. 

But heart problems? Clogged arteries? Diabetes? --- totally preventable with a healthy diet and exercise. 

Time to get on with it! 

A couple girlfriends and I have purchased a 6 week groupon to a local bootcamp (the one I used to attend - where I burn an average of 650 calories in 40 minutes) and we will start that Monday afternoon. I have also been taking our two poodles (Doctor and Roxeanne) on evening walks in our neighborhood. That should be a good start. 
I also plan to stop eating high-cholesterol foods (regular bacon, egg yolks, milk, dairy) and start making healthier food choices --  like more real fruits, veggies, whole grains, and less processed foods! 

I can do this!

As before, I will be posting my before/after photos, weigh-ins, food information, as well as my experiences along the way. 

Thanks for catching up with me! 

We all started somewhere..

Its 2014!!

 (wait.......already?!)

Promises of healthier lifestyles, more time spent at the gym, and weight loss crowd social media sites.
Was that one of your goals, resolutions, or promises to yourself or your family this year?

It is mine!

This is the first year of my life that I have, as a resolution to myself and those in my life, promised to take real charge and make some real changes for my health and my body -- and I know I'm actually going to do something about it!

I started my most recent weight loss journey mid-January of 2013 for two main reasons:
  1) I wanted to look better and fell better about myself - FOR ME
  2) I wanted to look sexy/desirable; Be the girl with brains, personality, AND a body!

I know what you're thinking right now-- WHY IN THE HECK WOULD YOU DIET FOR A BOY?! Well, I guess we could probably argue about that all day... but in the end... its honestly what I wanted... and knowing that I would be sexier and healthier and all around "the package" for him (and myself too!!) -- then well, it was excellent motivation to do what I had already wanted but, honestly, was too afraid to get off of my butt and do something to change it.

I started taking Phentermine, a diet-suppressant energy pill (approved by the FDA) and loved it. It curbed my appetite and therefore, I ate less. Less doesn't always mean better. Sure, for the first couple weeks or even months I ate right. Mostly clean eating, but It was in such small portions that it didn't really matter. Phentermine took away my appetite. On an average day I would wake up, not eat breakfast (BAD!), skip lunch (BAD!), fiber bar (140 calories), and a light dinner (200-400 calories - BAD!). For my body, I need around 1,000 - 1,200 calories per day to "diet" and still have energy and ability to workout and build muscle. I also rarely ever drank anything -- including water (MISTAKE!)

I also went to the gym 3-4 days a week. When I went to the gym I would do about 30-60 minutes of cardio which was mainly walking and/or lightly jogging. Occasionally I would use the elliptical there too, since I felt to notice I burned more calories on that machine. I never challenged myself. I never really "stuck it out" for those fat-burning workouts. All I wanted to do was burn calories and burn them fast. (Burn more calories than you take in = basic weight loss.) I never lifted weights. I never knew how, and I always made excuses not to learn *insert lame excuse here like: trainers are expensive or that I have no time*

Sure, I was losing weight and some inches too! I felt better about myself  -- I mean, who wouldn't feel good about themselves being a size 8 and weighing 145, when I had reached a height of size 18 and a weight of 210 in my past! (and yes.. that is without having babies --- pure fat and being unhealthy from snacking, eating unhealthy foods in rather large amounts and frequently, and lacking basically all exercise...)

However, I realize now that I was losing inches and pounds, but I wasn't getting stronger.
I was only getting skinnier.
I couldn't run any miles.
I couldn't lift any real weights.
I would get exhausted so easily.
I wasn't getting skinny ---- I was getting SKINNY FAT.

 

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What is SKINNY FAT?

A person who is not overweight and looks skinny but still has a high fat percentage and low muscular mass. Usually those people have a low caloric diet (check!), that's why they are skinny, but are not involved in any sports activities or trainings (check again!) and that's why they don’t have much muscle.

Skinny fat woman look great from a certain distance or in clothes, but might not look good naked (check again....) and probably have some cellulite even if they are young.

(Oooookay now seriously. Is this a definition of "skinny fat" or of me?!?!)

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I don't want to be fat, and I definitely don't want to be "skinny fat" anymore. I don't really even care about being technically "skinny" anymore. I want to be genuinely and honestly more healthy and more fit. I want to be stronger. I want to put good things into my body and I want to work hard to change it. I want to see a difference in my definition, not the number on the scale.

 

This year, I am promising myself a real change.

 

I'm promising to actually eat, and to eat healthy. I can do this!
 

I'm promising myself that I can do this without the help of weight loss medication.
 

I'm promising myself to change my body with exercise.
 

I'm promising myself to do this for no one else other than myself.
 

I CAN DO THIS!
 

I've already started eating right. Today I've had some protein for breakfast and I plan on protein and vegetables for lunch. Dinner... who knows.... probably salmon and some baked veggies! Not to mention the 75oz of water that I've already had today -- and its only 3:30pm!

 

I also started BOOTCAMP. It's a ladies only fitness center where you have small-group classes and work to reduce fat, build muscle, build endurance, and have a wonderful place to workout with women who are working towards transforming their bodies too -- the right way! Talk about some real motivation and some serious soreness! EEK! My second "official" class is tonight.
I'm sore. I'm tired. I kiiindof want to skip it -- BUT I WONT!!

 

Anyways... all that to say... this New Year...

 

Stop complaining about how "overcrowded" the gym is.

 

Stop rolling your eyes when people tell you that their resolution/goal/promise for 2014 is to get healthy or lose weight.

 

Stop making fun of the "fat girl/guy" in class -- and realize:

 

 

WE ALL STARTED SOMEWHERE!   

 

....UNTIL NOW (-ish)

I've said it before and I will say it again. I've always been.....

 

*insert evil music here*

 

THAT GIRL.

You know the one... the girl with a pretty face and a sweet/nice/great personality. (HA!)

UNTIL NOW(-ish).

 

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I've never really had a great self esteem... like ever.

When I was a little girl I used to worry that I was fat -- which I totally wasn't.

When I was in Jr. High I didnt look like the other girls. I was getting heavy and I absolutely noticed. I was in a size 12 jeans by the 7th grade. Other girls had "boyfriends" and all that I had were boys that were good friends.

In high school I was friends with everyone --  a "vanilla kid" as my cousin calls it -- but I didn't have boyfriends. I didnt have many real friends or a clique either. I felt like it was just me... alone in a stupid "if youre not somebody... you're a nobody -- an outsider" school full of cheerleaders, athletes, skinny people, and those people that I would never look like. And then there was me... sitting alone with the guys with my camo pants on, my baggy tshirt, my loooooong pin-straight hair (not kidding. I could literally sit on it) and my love for science. I was smart --- and thats all that I had going for me as far as high school rules go -- and even that wasn't "cool."

(this wasn't even at its longest....)

I got to college and stopped caring what people thought, because people were so accepting of me. They didnt care, and why should I? I ate what I wanted and did what I wanted. No one really ever called me "pretty" and I knew I wasnt one of the skinny girls or the athletes --- but that was okay. I put my weight and my self-image on the backburner and did what I wanted. I had fun, instead of worrying about being unhealthy or the fat girl of the group.

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It wasn't until I started losing weight that I realized where I really was.. and how far I had come. Nothing really changed at first.
The first 20 pounds came off and some peope noticed -- and some didnt.

It took losing 28 or 29 pounds total for people to really start noticing. At that point, I was basically down to a size 8 from a size 14 -- my body had really changed.

I went to an old friends wedding and she couldnt believe I had lost so much weight.

Then friends started making comments about what I was eating.
We went over to some friends of ours house and they made (in addition to what THEY wanted, I might add) turkey burgers.... just for me... because they knew I was watching my weight.

Then I would go back to RSU for board meetings or sorority meetings and everyone would say "wow Paula, you look incredible."

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Lately, things have even gotten more REAL for me... as far as realization for what I have done and how far I have come is concerned.

The other night, I wanted to go dancing. I bought my very first pair of boots and I bought a dress (on sale!!) form JCP. I curled my hair and went out with friends and my boyfriend.

I FELT PRETTY

 

For the first time in a long time in foreverrrrrr I felt -- not like THAT girl --- but like the pretty girl in the room. I showed my boyfriend my outfit before I left and his eyes widened (even though I thought he might think I looked silly). He looked at me and at that moment I felt, finally, like the smart AND skinny AND funny AND beautiful woman (and girlfriend) that I always wanted to be.

I felt GOOD.

 

We got to Caravan to do some drinking/dancing when an old guy friend of mine walked up and said "HI" to everyone. He talked about his new job and how things have changed...

 

......it took him about 4 minutes into talking to stop - mid sentence - and say OH MY GOOOOOOOD I DIDNT EVEN RECOGNIZE YOUUUUU!!! and then continued to let his mouth hang open and repeat the previous sentence more times that I want to remember. Well, thats a lie --- I want to remember (and replay in my mind...over and over...and over) him repeating that silly little sentence with his wide eyes and gaping jaw.

 

All I could think was HEY!! ITS ME....PAULA! SURPRISE! haha

All I could do was laugh (and BLUSHH!) and thank him for being so kind.

 

It wasnt just him being KIND, It was him being TOTALLY, COMPLETELY, and ABSOLUTELY HONEST AND REAL. His reaction to my physical changes weren't fake or planned... it was GENUINE, and that made such a HUGE impact on me.

 

I know I FEEEEEEL like a different person..... but now, I know I LOOOOOK like a different person too.

 

And it feels FANTASTIC!

...talk about a self-esteem booster!

 

I never did have ok/good/positive self esteem.......

 

UNTIL NOW!

Time to rock my entirely new self and keep on keeping on with my journey!